Therapist Referrals
Specialized Counseling for Men in Texas and Idaho
Meet Gary
Finding the right therapist for a client can sometimes be surprisingly difficult. This is especially true when the client is dealing with pornography use, infidelity, secrecy, relationship damage, or a pattern of behavior that has become difficult to control. These issues can bring a lot of shame with them, and many men are hesitant to talk openly about what is happening even after they have decided to get help.
I work primarily with individual men who are trying to understand these patterns, take responsibility for the ways they have affected themselves or the people around them, and make meaningful changes in their lives and relationships. My approach is direct and practical, but I also try to create an environment where clients can be honest without feeling like they are walking into a room to be judged.
When I May Be a Good Fit for Your Client
A lot of the referrals I receive involve a man who is doing reasonably well in most areas of his life but is struggling privately. He may be successful professionally, involved with his family, and generally viewed as dependable by the people around him while also dealing with something he has had difficulty changing on his own.
Some of the clients who tend to be a good fit for my practice are men who are:
Struggling to reduce or stop unwanted pornography use
Dealing with the consequences of an affair or another betrayal
Trying to rebuild trust with a spouse or partner
Experiencing shame, secrecy, or repeated behaviors they do not fully understand
Getting stuck in the same relationship conflicts over and over again
Having difficulty identifying or expressing emotions
Dealing with stress, anxiety, burnout, or emotional disconnection
Trying to become a healthier husband, father, or partner after realizing something needs to change
There does not need to be a diagnosis or a particular label for us to have something useful to work on. In fact, I have found that getting stuck on whether someone technically has an “addiction” can sometimes distract from more useful questions. Is the behavior causing problems? Does he feel like he has the amount of control over it that he wants to have? Has trust been damaged? Is he repeatedly making promises to himself or someone else that he cannot seem to keep?
Those questions usually give us plenty to work with.
Pornography Use and Problematic Sexual Behavior
I am a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and that training strongly informs my work with pornography use and other problematic sexual behaviors. At the same time, I do not believe that every person who struggles with pornography needs to identify as a sex addict or be treated as though they have one particular diagnosis.
I tend to look at the entire pattern. What happens before the behavior? What purpose has it started serving? How does stress, loneliness, boredom, shame, conflict, or emotional avoidance fit into the picture? What has the client already tried, and why has it been difficult to maintain those changes?
The goal is not simply to accumulate days without a behavior. I want clients to understand themselves well enough to develop healthier ways of dealing with what was driving the behavior in the first place.
Learn more about my approach to Pornography Use Counseling
Infidelity, Betrayal, and Relationship Repair
I also work frequently with men after an affair, hidden pornography use, repeated dishonesty, or another form of betrayal has damaged their relationship.
One of the challenges in this work is balancing accountability with shame. Accountability matters. Understanding the impact on a spouse matters. Honesty, transparency, empathy, and learning how to tolerate difficult conversations all matter. But I do not think convincing someone that he is a terrible person is particularly useful for helping him become a more trustworthy one.
My work often focuses on helping men understand how they reached the point they did, identify what needs to change, learn how to respond differently when their spouse is hurt or triggered, and begin becoming someone whose behavior is increasingly consistent with the kind of husband or partner he wants to be.
Learn more about Infidelity & Betrayal Recovery Counseling
Technology Integration
My Approach to Therapy
Most of the men I work with are not looking for someone to simply listen and nod for an hour. They usually want to understand what is happening and leave therapy with something useful to think about or work on.
My approach draws from Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method concepts, Internal Family Systems, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Cognitive Processing Therapy, psychodynamic approaches, and other evidence-based frameworks. I use those models when they are useful, but I try not to make therapy feel like a graduate-school lecture. I would rather help someone understand a complicated idea in a way that makes sense to him and that he can actually use when he leaves the session.
Sometimes that means talking about attachment, emotional regulation, shame, childhood experiences, or underlying beliefs. Sometimes it means figuring out what he is going to do differently the next time he is stressed at 11:30 at night with his phone in his hand. Usually, good therapy involves some combination of both.
About Me
I’m Gary Hominick, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. I provide telehealth counseling to clients throughout Texas and Idaho.
I specialize in working with men around pornography use, infidelity, betrayal, relationship problems, anxiety, stress, burnout, and emotional disconnection. I am also the creator of the 5-Stage Problematic Behavior Recovery Model, which I use to help clients understand that meaningful recovery involves more than simply stopping an unwanted behavior.
You can learn more about my background and approach on my About Gary page or read more about what CSAT training involves
Not Sure Whether the Referral Is a Fit?
You do not need to figure that out before reaching out. If you are working with someone who seems like he may benefit from the kind of work I do, you are welcome to contact me. I am happy to talk briefly about whether my practice seems appropriate or whether another type of provider may make more sense.
Clients can also contact me directly for a free 15-minute consultation. That gives us an opportunity to talk about what is happening, what they are looking for, and whether working together feels like a good fit.
Refer a Client
If you would like to refer someone, you can send them directly to my contact page or share this page with them. They are welcome to contact me directly, and I can take it from there.